Lie ins and late nights

Took me until Sunday afternoon to recover from Friday night!!!! I ache all over! Didn't help that I cut my wrist while I was sleeping and had a really rough night on Saturday. Nightmares and tossing and turning all night long!

Sunday saw a lie in and a long soak in the bath to regenerate me and it more or less did the trick. I spent he rest of the afternoon on the computer talking to T and to my new butterfly friend A.

A is luvlee. She is gorgeous and sensitive and intelligent and likes lots of the same things I do and we have masses in common! We are meeting for the first time in a couple of weeks and I am already nervous! She is a very special person.

Anyway we ended up chatting on MSN (gotta get a webcam!) until it got quite late then I carried on chatting to T while M slept on the couch. He had to get up to drive to work at about 3.15 so I stayed up until it was time for him to go so I coud get a goodbye kiss.

Was really emotional when he left as I will genuinely miss him.

Went to sleep thinking about my jigsaw lovelife and what it might be like to kiss A and how much I am looking forward to next weekend with T and how much I miss M when he isn't here to share all this stuff with and give me cuddles and make me laugh.

Am feeling meloncholy this morning as a result but it is a nice sort of dreamy feeling that I am hoping will carry me through the ironing!

More later!

Me x

Domestic harmony!

Saturday has been spent in domestic bliss!

M and I sorted our finances out - well started to at least! The up shot of which is that I have talen over responsibility for getting the bills paid on time and making sure that we have food in the cupboards etc. M will do the earning and I will do the budgeting. We ahd a really long conversation about our relationship and issues surrounding it and pressures on it and agreed that we need to work a bit harder at communicating with eachother. Also agreed that T and M might need to work a bit on their relationship too as it is really important to me that they stay friends no matter what happens in the future.

Finished my housework except for the bathroom and the Ironing - my least favourite things to do! but am proud of all I achieved nevertheless!

Phew!!!

What a week!

Have only just recovered my username and password (d'oh! Forgot both!!!) and can now fill you in on my exciting life! (that is sarcasm for those unfamiliar with the concept!

Where to begin!

Oh yes, Will begin with Friday!

Friday was a dark day in terms of IT. My PC decided to have some sort of nervous breakdown and refused to work for me. I smashed a picture frame with a picture of one of my girls in it and generally felt crummy! M was due home at about 11.30pm and I was very lonely waiting for that too. Took a chance and rang T to se how his interview was going and have a chat while he drove to Manchester. I had already invited him to stop in for a cuppa but he'd declined as he had loads to do. Nevertheless since he had left London late and it was already 5.30 ish I thought I'd repeat the invitation and offer to feed him too to save him the bother at the other end and help avoid rush hour on the M6!

Unfortnately we got our wires crossed and I ended up hanging up on him. Long story short is that we made up eventually and bless him he turned around and drove back to see me and get fed.

Two of my other friends - we'll call them X and Y - rang while T was here to see if I'd like some company while I waited for M to get home. I said yes of course thining that T would be leaving for Manchester and not really wanting to spend the rest of the evening alone.

By the time X & Y arrived it was fairly obvious that T didn't want to drive up to Manchester that night and that he was staying with me. Big smiles all round! ;o)

M came home and we had a fantastic night all together. Woke up on Saturday with a huge smile on my face and feeling ultra secure about my life even though T had to leave. Felt secure becasue I knew he didn't really want to go and wanted to spend time with me. It is a really nice feeling.

Smiley days at last!!!

I am a computer whizz after all!

Had a calamity earlier this afternoon as my i-tunes wiped my music library! No choooonz!!!

However, through my genuine tears of loss and sadness I managed to fix the problem and am now listening to 'Popcorn' off Clubland 2 Xtreme as I type this! It is a Choooooon!

I was only without my music for about 2 hours but it was a painful and horrid 2 hours! Never again!!!!

So if you read this T - hurry up with that pink ipod babe! Can't live without my choooonz!!!!

Kisses

Bang up to date!

Well here we are! It's Wednesday morning!

Spent much of last night online talking to T and to my new friend Lucy, also e-mailing another potential friend Angela. We were sat up until after midnight sorting out easter weekend and what we are doing! It is gonna be a WILD one!!!!

I am going to London to T's house for a party on Good Friday, then we are driving back up to Leicester on the Saturday to go to Storm to see the Tidy Boys play at the Emporium. Have invited Lucy to meet us.

Sunday will see us at CrasherV Sundissential in Birmingham. Gonna invite Angela to that one I think!

Need to sort out what I'm gonna wear for them though!!!

Am considering investing in a little black tutu number and some leg warmers! May just stick to the baggy jeans and tight tops though!!!

Ciao for now!

Almost caught up!

Have just spent two pretty strange days with T.

The good bits were as good as ever and brought a new level of intimacy to our relationship but hte bad bits were worse than ever! Spent 4 hours crying and having a crisis about M and whether to leave him or not on Monday afternoon. Not a good topic of conversation! There are implications for all of us in it, the ids, Me, M and even T as everyone will cast him the villain if M and I split. Even though it would have nothing to do with my reasons for leaving.

The issue is moot now though as I have more or less decided not to leave. I want to work things out so we have a stable life for the kids and can still be friends at the very least. He works away in the week and I am away a lot at weekends so it should work out ok if we can sort the finances out.

The good bits were snuggling up together reading our own copies of the same book that we just couldn't put down! Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. It is fantastic and I felt really close to T while we read together even tough we weren't talking to eachother. ust existing together and sharing our space with eachother.

T cooked Tacos for the girls and I on Monday night which always go down a storm with them and me! I made a rabit Jelly and Strawberry Angel Delight for pudding which got almost as much critical aclaim from T and the girls!

We went to bed late and after I dropped the kids at school went back to bed to drink coffee and eat muffins and have a lovely snuggle before he inevitably had to leave for london.

I always cry like a broken hearted child when he leaves even though I know he's coming back and I'll see him soon. And I'm always fine an hour after he's left! Just emotional like that I guess!

Operation T's Kitchen part III

Saturday saw a fresh start and a lie in for me! T left me to sleep as I had had such a rough night and got on with the decorating. Byt hte time I surfaced he had made tons of progress!

We spent the rest of the day working hard and worked well into the night although it did get silliy! I am now Glue Gun Girl! I donned goggles, a mask and a dust sheet cloak for the part and leapt around the kitchen brandishing a glue gun! V. daft! Loads of fun though! Pic to be posted later!

Sunday was just a silly! Brown wood filler looks too much like cat poo to be fun to work with! So I stood atop my ladder where I was supposed to be filling in a gap with the ghastly stuff and proclaimed how unfair it was that I should have to smear cat poo into holes while T swanned about being lazy.

The ensuing play fight was fantastic but it did lead to ny getting filler in my hair to go with teh two colours of paint and the grout and plaster dust already there!

By the time M arrived in the mid afternoon we were both knackered! T decided to drive down to my house that night and stay over on his way back to London as he had to prepare for an interview - Tomorrow!!!! and needed some R & R to get his head straight for preparing a presentation. M had to leave at 3.30am on Monday as he was startinga contract in Leatherhead. So we bade a fond(ish) farewell to the decorating and set off for Telford.

I miss the kitchen there. Even though it is covered in dust sheets and there are tools everywhere and still jobs to be done I feel like I made my mark there and I would have liked to see it through to completion. Oh well.

Pacific to be Specific

Friday cont....

After trekking all the way to Marple and getting cash and discerning that the car was not knackered after all we set off into Manchester to find some food.

T had found out that morning that he passed a really important exam that qualifies him as a project manager! I was so proud of him I could have burst! I know how much work he put in on that exam and also know what it means to him.

I wanted to celebrate that and the fact that we have now been together for 6 months. (half a year has gone by so fast!!!) so we got cleaned up as best we could (had a luvlee candle lit bubble bath together) and went into the big city!

For some reason I was in a bit of a funny mood, feeling a bit insecure and wobbly. I suspect becasue I had no nice clothes with me and I looked a bit of a wreck (no hairdryer either!) dressed in big baggy jeans and an even baggier shirt. Didn't seem to bother T though.

H suggested we have Thai food as we had already done the Chinese and the Indian takeaways earlier that week. I agreed as I had never tried Thai food before and he led me to a restraunt called Pacific which he said was fab.

At that point I made a very silly error and asked if he and P had ever been there while they were still together. Well of course they had and I instantly felt dreadful. How could we celebrate all the new things in our lives and our relationship and his new career in a place where I felt haunted by a ghost of the past. As a result I couldn't relax all night and even though the restraunt was great and the food was wonderful and the company was great too I never ever want to repeat that experience. Childish and juvenile - yes probably - but I won't apologise for how I feel aboout some things. Deal!

By the time we got home again it was really late and I couldn't keep a check on my emotions and ended up sobbing in T's arms into the small hours. And the more I cried the worse I felt about crying at him and that made me cry all the more! Sheesh!

Operation T's Kitchen part II

Thursday morning and after a very late night ;o) we had a fairly late start! ;o)

Well we do know how to have a good time together!!!

It was weird. We settled into a sort of routine of domesticity! It was realy comfortable. I didn't have to be in teh same room as T and we got on with our jobs well! T learned to Tile and Grout and has turned into a bit of a DIY genius!

Thursday night we had chinese and it was superb! Found a really nice chinese in Cheadle, where we met a couple who were very much the worse for wear from drink but who still rumbled us as a couple. They even asked us how long we'd been together. I thought T had forgotten about the 6 month thing but turned out he hadn't! :o)

Next day we tried to get on some more with the kitchen and the landing (had finished hall and stairs by then!) T's cousing matt came over for a visit which was really nice as I have only met his sister so far and meeting people's family helps you get to know a person better. For example I had no idea that T was the eldest by quite a big margin. Matt is only 18! He was very sweet and I liked him. He obviously looks up to his oldest cousin and it was luvlee to see them catching up with eachother after a long time apart.

Friday also saw a trip to Marple to meet M and get my phone charger and some cash. T almost knackered his suspension up and nearly hit a sheepdog after we went over a really bad pot hole on the way!

Operation T's Kitchen!

So as you know I have appointed myself as T's official interior designer! Helping him choose colours and tiles and that sort of thing and I love it! Makes me feel more part of his life.

So on arrival last Wednesday I tried to get stuck in to helping him with his old house that he is going to let out asap. T didn't really trust me to begin with, if he spilled paint then he could only be cross with himself but if I spilled paint then we'd have a problem!

Should probably explain that I am dyspraxic and have little or no co-ordination. I'm basically what they used to call clumsy with a capital C! A fact that I had been trying to get across to T as being not entirely a laughing matter. I think he understands now. I laugh at myself to coverf the shame of being so clumsy most of the time but sometimes when other people laugh at me falling down or dropping things or struggling to do everyday things then it hurts.

Anyway once we established that I would mask off everything with Blue tape and make sure there were dust sheets everywhere i got my first proper assignment! Paint the Hall, Stairs and Landing!

He let me choose the paint colour and I got to work! I'm not great at decorating but I know that none of it would have got done if I hadn't been there. I'm really proud of what I achieved! I did get a bit weepy when I was tired and missing the kids and M and wondering what on earth I was doing there! But it soon passed once I got a cuddle from T.

Managed to get both yellow (hall) and green (kitchen) paint in my hair by the end of Wednesday!

We eventually stopped work at about 10pm and ventured out to find food! We were both completely knackered and went for an Indian takeaway washed down with mulled wine!!

Catch up!

Ah my luvlee Blog! How I have neglected you!!!

Let me bring you up to speed with my life over the last week and a half!

So, Monday last week was fairly dull and so was Tuesday. Living under the same roof with M can be a lot of a strain to say the least and I started to feel it about Monday evening! Had a bit of an episode, couldn't stop crying and basically wanted to be dead. M didn't know what to do and T couldn't really help as he was up in Manchester at his old house, decorating.

Felt a bit better on Tuesday and offered to go help T with decorating. M offered to drive me up there as he likes road trips so we set off Wednesday morning to find our way up to Cheadle. T has driven me there quite a few times but I still managed to get us lost!

Arrived at lunchtime to find T up to his eyeballs in decorating, Paint and Tiles and Grout and a million and one B&Q bags!

M had to go and get the kids so he left quite quickly and let us get on with the task at hand!

A Mother of a Morning!

Good morning!

At least i think it is still morning! The kids got up at 5.20 am this morning because it is Mothers Day! Aw how sweet! How thoughtful! How absolutely mind blowingly frustrating!

Sent them back to bed with instructions that it is not Mothers Day until it is actually light outside! And was then awoken at 6.45 as the sun was rising with a chunk of Hedgehog bread and butter and a wineglass of squash on a tray and my pressies! It was actually a magical moment.

This year for mothers day I recieved a gorgeous scented candle from N which came thoughtfully wrapped in a new Tea-Towel "For you to use today mummy!". From J I recieved a pair of new Oven Gloves also for me to use today! :o) They are both Purple Ronnie gifts and are funny in the extreme! I love them almost as much as I love my babies!!!

Can't wait for M to get back this evening. Am a bit lonely today. Not used to doing Mothers Day solo. But never mind. Needs must as they say!

Will have to ring/text T to thank him for the cards the children got me. Personally I wouldn't pay as much as he did for a card for anyone! But that's T for you! Generous to a fault and would do anything to make me and the kids happy.

I am a very lucky and slightly spoiled girl! And now I am off back to bed to have my 'lie in' with my new book - The Da Vinci Code and a steaming mug of organic fair trade Mocha. :o)

Ciao for Now!

Slouchy Saturday

Still not dressed yet! Am posting this in my Snoopy Pyjamas after waking up at about 7ish this morning and rolling out of bed at about 8.

T went off to Manchester at about 9. But not before I gave him a key to my house. Might seem like a weird thing to give him but last night N broke a glass in the lounge and I was fretting about getting the broken glass cleaned up. T offered to help and I refused as he was a guest in my house. He looked at me ever so strangely and smiled his cute lopsided smile and said that no he wasn't a visitor was he? And he's right. He used to be a visitor and I would fret and panic about getting the hoovering done before he arrived but now he's part of my family and when he's here is fits in and feels at home. So why shouldn't he have a key? From his reaction I think he likes the idea.

I don't miss him this time. I know we'll see eachother in a few days and he asked if he could stop here on the way back down to London. Also we are going away for the w/e next w/e for Goblin Bashing.

So today I am going to read some of my book - The Davinci Code and write some more in my Little Book of Confidence that T gave me. I have to write an entry in it every time I do something that I might have found difficult in the past or that i am proud of or just makes me feel good. That way, if i have a wobble in the future I can get out my book and read some of the achievements I have made!

Bye for now!

Strip Connect 4 Anyone?

T should have left for Manchester by 3pm but at 3 he was still here. I have to confess that our hormones got the better of us and after a wicked naughty afternoon and an offer of Pizza and Red Wine how could he resist spending just one more night with me?

A mischief filled evening followed! I can heartily reccommend strip connect 4 to anyone who wants to have a fun time! Best rules are if you win a frame you get to choose the item of clothing the loser removes. You have to show the removal of the item in a sexy way. (hard to do with frog socks!) The loser is the first player totally naked. The winner then gets to chose all the rest of the evening's activities ;o)

I lost. YAY!!!!!

Another action packed evening of fun and frolics and falling asleep in eachothers arms! I ask you, does life get much better than this?

A Chocolate chip chill out room for T

Spent a really fun morning shopping with T on Friday for fabric for his new room. I am his interior designer as well as his best friend and lover and all that other stuff! Have decided to go for a neutral colour scheme, caramels, creams and toffee colours with hints of deep chocolate brown. Am also going with an all natural feel with lots of sensuous touchy feely textures from bamboo (the wardrobe doors) to Suede and Leather and Fake Fur (Everywhere else!) It's going really well. I hope he likes it as much as I would if it were my room!

My life rocks!

T arrived on Thursday evening as he was off up to Manshester to finish decorating his house. He agreed to stay Thursday night so we hade a luvlee Quorn Satay and even luvlier hot chocolate souffles. They are sex in a pot I swear!!! All of that, and a couple of glasses of our favourite red wine put us in a great mood and believe me a good time was had by all, although I had no idea I had some of those moves in me!! ;o)

Finally fell asleep in eachothers arms at about 1 in the morning (had to get up for the kids at 7!) and woke up pretty much as we fell asleep. It is so nice to have a body to snuggle up to at night and someone to share those silly late night thoughts with.

A smilee evening and a smilee morning too!